Book title?

Number one son rattling off word junk the other night, this one caught my ears.

"How to live with STD's" by Sharin Dicks

Funny kid.

Hope your well

JBP - I want you to know.
I am not going to try to lay any guilt trip on you, although I seriously want to.
But that is not me.
I do want you to realize and know my heart is in turmoil for you. How can it not be.
This is not what I had envisioned for you. But that was my vision and not yours.

I know your a young man now and you make your own choices in your life.
I want you to know I will always!always love you no matter what you choose to do or how you choose to live your life.

There will never be any variance in that. Ever.

I can not admit that I am okay with a couple of the choices you have made and I wish I could of done something or could turn back a clock and make it different, but as you know I am a realist and will accept your decisions.

I can also understand the choices you have made. I am sorry that this is the way it is.
I am so full of misgivings about how "things" are now as versus "how it was" and I wish you could of "been when I was" instead of now.
Things wouldn't be going down this path if that were the case.
I am not sorry for birthing you. Never. You have brought me so much joy and light. I am in love with you and who you are. What more could any mother ask for?

I love you so deeply and I want you to be happy. That is all I want. I know my ideas of what constitutes happiness are different than yours. I will accept this.
I will not turn my back on you.
I will always be here for you no matter what.
I want you to know this. I know you will read this if you get a chance and since I am rarely hearing from you I thought this would be okay.
Your gems have not arrived btw. :(

Prarie Fire Rocks

Prarie Fire

My son's band getting ready to tour the south.

Catch them if they head your way.

You won't be disappointed.

MIT

MIT Open Course Ware

Edumacate yourself

Small Farms Disappearing In Tennessee

Sometimes a whole farm family comes awake
in a close dark place over a motor's hum
to find their farm's been rolled up like a rug
with them inside it. They will be shaken onto
the streets of Cincinnati, Dayton, or Detroit.

It's a ring, a syndicate dismantling farms
on dark nights, filing their serial numbers
smooth, smuggling them north like stolen cars,
disposing of them part by stolen part.

Parts of farms turn up in unlikely places:
weathered gray boards from a Tennessee burley tobacco
barn are up against the wall of an Ohio
office building, lending a rustic effect.
A Tennessee country church suddenly appeared
disguised as a storefront in downtown Chicago.
Traces of Tennessee farms are found on the slopes
of songs written in Bakersfield, California.
One missing farm was found intact at the head
of a falling creek in a recently published short story.
One farm that disappeared without a clue
has turned up in the colorful folk expressions
of a state university building and grounds custodian.
A whole farm was found in the face of Miss Hattie Johnson,
lodged in a Michigan convalescent home.

Soil samples taken from the fingernails
of Ford plant workers in a subdivision
near Nashville match those of several farms
which recently disappeared in the eastern end of the state.
A seventy-acre farm that came to light
in the dream of a graduate student taking part
in a Chicago-based dream research project
has been put on a micro-card for safekeeping.
Divers searching for a stolen car
on the floor of an Army Corps of Engineers
impoundment, discovered a roadbed, a silo, a watering
trough, and the foundations of a dairy barn.
Efforts to raise the farm proved unsuccessful.
A number of small Tennessee farms were traced
to a land-developer's safe deposit box
in a mid-state bank after a bank official
entered the vault to investigate roosters
crowing and cows bawling inside the box.

The Agriculture Agency of the state
recently procured a helicopter to aid
in the disappearing farm phenomenon.
"People come in here every week," the agency head,
Claude Bullock, reports, "whole farm families on tractors,
claiming their small farm has disappeared."

Running the Small Farms arms of the agency
is not just a job for Bullock, born and brought up
on a small Tennessee farm himself. "We're doing
the best we can," says Bullock, a softspoken man
with a brow that furrows like a well-plowed field
over blue eyes looking at you like farm ponds.
"But nowadays," he adds, "you can load a farm,
especially these small ones, onto a floppy disk.
Some of these will hold half a dozen farms. You just store
them away.
So they're hard to locate with a helicopter."

Bullock's own small farm, a thirty-acre
remnant of the "old home place," disappeared
fourteen months ago, shortly before
he joined the Small Farms arm of the agency.

Jim Wayne Miller
Kentucky Poet Laureate

This is such a great poem ! It had me laughing, frowning, I had a tear in my eye.!
More I want more !

Holding patterns

I am not sure I understand
or maybe I do and it doesn't matter

could it be part of the aging process?
what I have always termed - growing up?
but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up
so how can that be?
reflection? Is this where that part comes into play? You have gotten wise in your old age
but i am not that old .. Really

I know I am not mentally ill. Well, not any more than most
in fact I am mentally well more so than many I meet when i do go out

so why am I in a holding pattern with my life?
my life meaning my inter connections with the human race

people

I don't understand
I would rather be in my cocoon than trying to absorb others energy

maybe Richard was right and I am sensitive to "people" energy
it does exhaust me so

I read about "isolation" and think, am I putting myself in that quandary?
Give me a book anytime and i am happy

That's it though - I am happy - i am content
I am lonely at times yes, this is true
but isn't it better to be alone,? alone, than to be alone with someone?
i believe so

Rejection

If i had known i would be so thoroughly rejected - would i of still asked it ?
a most definite yes

(i still don't think distance is a good reason though)

even though you only gave a small bit to me it taught me so much
about myself, about you

you are a very unique man j
very

if i hadn't experienced you in my life
if i had never met you
if it hadn't been so brief of a pleasure

i would of never known the exquisite connection you gave me to myself

purely selfish on my part i know

i also know it was not altruistic on your part so i have no guilt

i can't help wishing it had turned out differently

fully knowing it would of blown up in our faces
you are wiser than i am

i got you babe

Good stuff this.