Holding patterns

I am not sure I understand
or maybe I do and it doesn't matter

could it be part of the aging process?
what I have always termed - growing up?
but I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up
so how can that be?
reflection? Is this where that part comes into play? You have gotten wise in your old age
but i am not that old .. Really

I know I am not mentally ill. Well, not any more than most
in fact I am mentally well more so than many I meet when i do go out

so why am I in a holding pattern with my life?
my life meaning my inter connections with the human race

people

I don't understand
I would rather be in my cocoon than trying to absorb others energy

maybe Richard was right and I am sensitive to "people" energy
it does exhaust me so

I read about "isolation" and think, am I putting myself in that quandary?
Give me a book anytime and i am happy

That's it though - I am happy - i am content
I am lonely at times yes, this is true
but isn't it better to be alone,? alone, than to be alone with someone?
i believe so