bird?

my neighbor to the west of me is one of those good ole, southern, country boy type of guys. he gets up and goes to bed, I'm sure, with a beer can in his hand.
he staggers around, yelling at anything and everything, especially his dogs out back, with a beer can in his hand.
few years back he had prostate cancer and bet he had a beer can in his hand from sunrise to sunset.

how do I know this you ask?

I actually stopped going outside to just "dig" on this third of an acre I worked so hard to pay off so fast, because of him.
I know, I know but it was, just - after a couple of years of having to listen to him and his yelling, his heavily accented, slurred speech and his drunken mannerisms, his offering my then "teen" guys cases of beer "and" having to endure the "visiting" with him on my front porch and him eventually saying words that, in my mind, were not proper for a married man to say to the single neighbor lady.
I just don't like drunks. That's all.

now the older couple that owned the house before the good ole boy, were more my speed. Quiet, friendly - but not invasive, respectful, mind their own business. All that stuff that has to do with manners .. And dignity.

so anyway, one of my kids girlfriend and I were outside cutting down the small tree that decided to grow up over the septic tank and we hear the good ole southern boy out back yelling at his dogs.
the kids and I had figured out years ago he was happiest when he was out there yelling at his dogs, with a beer can in his hand. so we pretty much just got to the point we would ignore it.
once in awhile his yelling would be especially loud or abrasive and it would get my attention. I came so close, a couple of times, to calling the animal humane society and asking them to come see how abused his dogs were.
so we are out cutting the tree down and he is out back yelling at his dogs. I am ignoring this, of course, I'm used to it by now, but this is the first time the girlfriend had heard it.
"what is he yelling about?" she asks.
"he is yelling at his dogs, he abuses them." I told her.
she walks over a little closer to his yard and stands there listening, than busts out laughing.
I'm thinking "wow, she is weird if she thinks him abusing his dogs is funny. Dunno about her."
so she walks back to me and says "he is training them."
"huh. Training? How the hell you train a dog by yelling at them?"
"he's yelling "bird .. bird" than he flaps his arms, claps and yells "bird, bird"
and here I thought he was doing the drunken slurring his words dance every morning for the last 7 years. jeez. ummmm.