music

new musicians showing up at the house lately.
nice to hear something other than the usual heavy metal.

let's see. jazz, bluegrass, dig the mandolin j.
oldies from the 70's and 80's with their dad.
love sick blues with jeff.
raunchy country with randy.
and it's really nice. really nice.

they are getting ready to play at the muse, so the heavy metal is back - full force.
told jon to play bare-chested and get a fake nipple ring. something about drummers beating the crap out of their drums makes the girls drool. so i was told.

yeah! think that's what's sexy nowadays?

happen'ns

mom day.

Rose: Anastasia

thank you guys.

reads

reading to much again lately
this got me.

"What you have made me see," answered the Lady, "is as plain as the sky, but i never saw it before. Yet it has happened every day. One goes into the forest to pick food and already the thought of one fruit rather than another has grown up in one's mind. Then, it may be, one finds a different fruit and not the fruit one thought of. One joy was expected and another is given. But this I had never noticed before - that the very moment of the finding there is in the mind a kind of thrusting back, or setting aside. The picture of the fruit you have not found is still, for a moment, before you. And if you wished - if it were possible to wish - you could keep it there. You could send your soul after the good you had expected, instead of turning it to the good you had got. You could refuse the real good; you could make the real fruit taste insipid by thinking of the other."

C. S. Lewis - Perelandra

desire is difficult to push aside - at least for me

be forever humbled

Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive

Chain of Fools

Aretha Franklin

Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools
Five long years I thought you were my man
But I found out I'm just a link in your chain
You got me where you want me
I ain't nothing but your fool
You treated me mean oh you treated me cruel
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools

Every chain has got a weak link
I might be weak child, but I'll give you strength
You told me to leave you alone
My father said come on home
My doctor said take it easy
Whole bunch of lovin is much too strong
I'm added to your chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain,
Chain, chain of fools

One of these mornings the chain is gonna break
But up until then, yeah, I'm gonna take all I can take
Chain, chain, chain, chain, chain, chain
Chain, chain, chain, chain of fools

neighbors

think i have mentioned my retired neighbor and his habit of getting up at 6am and mowing his yard.
this was when i worked nights and slept days ... so it was a tad annoying until i got used to the racket.
well .. .. now that i am home i can see just how obsessed he is with it.
the guy mows his yard every other day.

i mean TN does have some fine grass growing weather. but dang.

so last month my other neighbor, to the right of me? he retires. this is the neighbor that thinks as long as he mows a side section of my yard. he can claim it as his. i just laugh.
anyway, he has a ride on mower and his yard is smaller than mine. ^!^

so they take turns. every day one of them is mowing.

i wish they would find something else to do.

nostalgic teevee

carol burnett /tugging her ear

laugh in /goldie hawn's laugh

the twilight zone /peeking out from under the covers to watch

andy griffith /opie was so cute! first crush

i love lucy /goofy lucy

the monkees /hey, hey it's the monkees. my second crush ~ einy meiny mieny moe

star trek /space the final frontier. my third crush

mickey mouse club /got bored with this one fast

alfred hitchcock presents /creepy

time

time is going by so fast lately.
two of my boys have moved back in with me and both have been here for a couple of months.

trying to live with my two oldest boys as young adults is so vastly different than when they were little and believed everything I told them.

we are working hard at maintaining open and positive communications.

the ole .. "cause i'm the mom and i said so that's why" just doesn't cut it anymore. not that it really ever worked much before.
i sure had em going - for a few years.

music

Radiohead

I Will

I will
lay me down
in a bunker
underground

I won't let this happen to my children
meet the real world coming out of your shell
With white elephants
sitting ducks
I will
rise up

Little babies' eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes
Little babies' eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes
Little babies' eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes
Little babies' eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes

i close my eyes and feel this song

pain

been a difficult last couple of weeks.

it has brought to my mind, again, the meaning of our humaness and how it flows through our inner concept of self.
- questioning us, what does this mean to me as a human - to be human.
how do i outwardly show what this concept of being human means to me.

we live our human-ess day in and day out.
- this human-ess. this sense of being alive. of responding to our own needs in a constructive manner
- or not
- of responding to the people intimately involved in our circle of human-ess
- or not.

how do we behave due to our perceptions of what is involved in this time consuming process of being
- what does it mean - this act of being a human.

have we lost it.?

compassion

your suffering is my suffering and your happiness is my happiness.
shakyamuni Buddha

possibly, compassion is a word others can understand
- or not.
is it innate? taught? a flash?
enlightenment is a term i have seen used. often.

have we lost our ability to be compassionate?
our ability to feel another's pain. to give of ourselves from the being rather than from the material atoms that swirl around us daily.

than a stranger enters your life. giving of themselves in a manner that you know comes from the heart. not from the 'what do i gain from this' line of thought but a giving of themselves that humbles you and makes you realize your not as human as you could be in your own life.

meeting such a person restores a bit of the lost faith and innocence, the trust that you had lost because of the carelessness of the one not understanding their "humaness" and what it means to act humanly.

love
kindness
tolerance
compromise
we have lost the feeling of these words.

the churches spew it out, but only if you agree with what they are spewing out - only if - then the compassion is allowed to surface.
that has it's price.

and i ramble because i am very confused and my pain is overwhelming.

tomorrow will be different i know.

our past is unavailable and lost - our future is what we are right now.
i want to be more human in my future regardless of the cliffs that block me.